I think that we’re born with all these electric wires or tentacles that need outlets to plug into.
Outlets that connect to caregivers,
to community,
Friends,
Partners,
Career,
To places where we can be a contribution,
receive support,
express our most authentic selves,
and of course, that outlet in our own selves so we can explore and connect with our own depths.
There are well-adjusted people who are plugged-in and connected to many of these outlets, and for many of these people, it’s through their own efforts, but for many more, it’s through no effort of their own. They were born well-connected. They were born with access to all these outlets.
For lots of us, however, we aren’t naturally connected to much, and we have all these live wires just dangling and even flailing about.
And it often may seem, that no matter how hard we try, we literally cannot find the kinds of outlets we’re looking for. Which is a very stressful predicament that can cause depression, anxiety and a lot of frustration.
When this happens, it can be easy to make meaning for why we aren’t connected. Like, I mustn’t be good enough. I must be unlucky. I mustn’t have what it takes.
On top of that, if we have kids, we have the additional job if connecting all of their tentacles to outlets.
And if we aren’t able to find the right outlets for them, it can be heartbreaking to see their flailing tentacles, wanting to connect but also not finding the right connections.
For me, I’d say I’ve been sort of in the middle. I’ve got connections to a few of these outlets but I’ve got a lot of flailing live wires eager and desperate to find connections I don’t have access to.
I’ve often relied on that inner plug, where I get most of my energy. And that in itself is a treasure to me.
But sometimes when I can’t find any energy that lights me up, I’ll plug into energy sources that don’t provide the sort of energy I’m after—outlets that actually drain the little energy I have left.
In these moments, I try to remember that I do have the choice to unplug and find or create connections to new sources of energy that truly light me up.
In my opinion, there’s never a good reason to give up finding or creating the outlets we need.
We may just need to re-assess which kinds of outlets are going to light us up, and abandon looking for the kinds of outlets we’ve been taught *should* light us up.
To figure out the difference, I think it’s important to plug into ourselves first, to help us discover which kinds of outlets really would make a difference.
Because by connecting with ourselves first, we can plug into the current moment we’re in, where we can access what’s meaningful to us, what’s most important to us, and what brings us closer to the most authentic version of ourselves.
And from what I’ve noticed, every time we express these authentic parts of who we are, we move closer to more compatible outlets.
-JLK
