For those who’ve experienced trauma, there may be a recurring time of day when you experience a heightened sense of hypervigilance, a heightened sense that something is wrong.
This can happen no matter how much time has elapsed since the trauma actually happened.
You may find yourself in these moments looking for evidence for what is still wrong, and you may find many things wrong.
These pieces of evidence that everything is wrong might all meld together and leave you feeling privately drained and awful, even though you still may smile and be your best self for everyone else.
You may find yourself secretly desperate for an elixir that might help let you have a little peace.
You may find you notice all this more when you’re by yourself, where there are less distractions and less attractions.
Whenever you find yourself in this uncomfortable predicament, please remember that there is a space within yourself where you are safe. It may be just the tiniest apartment deep within yourself, but it’s yours whenever you’d like to visit.
The walls of this space are built with boundaries, boundaries built not from animosity for others but rather built out of love for yourself.
This space can be here for you to be just as you are and just as you aren’t. Where you can sit on a cushion of empathy and observe all that’s right or wrong but from a less triggered place.
Where you can simplify your actions to breathing in, knowing you’re breathing in, and breathing out, knowing you’re breathing out.
You may also find comfort that you are not alone here. That there are so many others like you building similar spaces, learning how to not be held hostage by their circumstances and by other people’s behavior.
Sending my love to you, you who gets secretly triggered everyday. You’re not alone. I send you peace from my tiny apartment to yours.
-JLK
