Once there was a woman who inherited a family recipe. And she made this same recipe for her daughter everyday, bc those were the only ingredients she had.
When the daughter grew up, she made this same recipe for her son, bc those were the only ingredients she had.
On and on, this recipe was passed down from one generation to the next. Until finally, one person decided she wanted to make something new.
But there was a problem—she only had those same old ingredients.
And though she really did try to make her kid something new with those same old ingredients, it kept turning into that same old recipe—the recipe she never asked for growing up, but the recipe she always received.
In time, she realized that if she didn’t want to give her kid that same recipe, which he didn’t care for either by the way, she was going to have to go out of her way to find new ingredients, ingredients she knew nothing about. Which was quite challenging. Where do you even find such ingredients?
The woman went on a pilgrimage of sorts, looking for new ingredients and also looking for support to help her find these new ingredients. Ingredients that would make both herself and her son feel different—more excited about being alive, less alone, more connected, more joyous, more accepted, more authentic, more fulfilled...
Finally, with support and a lot of compassion for herself and her efforts, she began to acquire a bunch of new ingredients, which she excitedly brought home to try out.
Her goal was to invent a brand new recipe. But, it was harder than she thought. Overwhelming, even.
She had no idea what in the world she was doing. And she was very tempted to resort to those same old ingredients that seemed so much more familiar. But every time she used them again, she wound up making that same old recipe.
Finally, she decided to keep those old ingredients in a very difficult-to-reach cabinet and see what might happen if she only used the new ingredients.
She began experimenting with these new ingredients, trying out each one.
It felt awkward at first, but with practice, she made them her own. And her son loved the new recipes she was making.
It was just like she’d hoped—he seemed more excited about being alive, less alone, more connected, more joyous, more accepted, more authentic, more fulfilled... And she did too.
It can be so frustrating to feel like we’re stuck with the same old ingredients to work with. But with a little effort, we can begin to seek out new ingredients, ingredients we never even knew existed, and then use them to create new, more fulfilling experiences.
Sure we might resort to those old staples from time to time, especially when it seems like we’ve run out of our new ingredients and can’t find the energy to get more.
But once we replenish, we can find comfort knowing that we’re no longer stuck with those old ingredients. We have new recipes now. Recipes we can count on, bc we created them ourselves.
-JLK
