Mean Red

My name is Redmond but everyone calls me Mean Red because I’m mean. I heard a couple people whispering about me the other day. They were wondering why I’m so mean. And it got me thinking. I’ve known for a while that I’m good at being mean because I make a lot of kids cry. But I never really thought about how I got this way. So I thought about it and remembered.

See, I wasn’t always mean. I used to be real friendly. But then something happened: One afternoon, my mom took me to a playground. And while she was on her phone, I introduced myself to these four kids and asked if they wanted to be my friends. But they told me I wasn’t big enough to be their friend.

I tried to show them that I was a big kid. I even showed them my best somersault, but they laughed at me, and then one of them told me their brother could do the same thing when he was one. So I said ok, and I showed them how I could do the monkey bars. But I was so nervous, I fell down. And when I started to cry, they laughed at me again and walked away together leaving me on the ground all by myself.

And it was at that moment, I decided never to be nice to anyone again. And I came up with this idea, that I would be the mean one first. That way, no one would ever get the chance to be mean to me, ‘cause I’d beat them to it. And it worked. No one’s been mean to me since. But that was two years ago. And I still don’t have any friends. And I wish I did have a friend. Someone to be nice to. Someone who might want to build a tunnel with me at the sandbox sometime.

So if you’re reading this, and you see me all alone on the playground, don’t be afraid. Now you know I was only mean because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be my friend. So if you still want to be my friend, just let me know. And I promise I’ll be a good one.

-JLK