One reason you’ll never win a battle with a reactive person is because they’re not battling with you. They’re battling with their own blindspots, their own unresolved upsets and traumas, and their own unwillingness to understand their own triggers.
They’ve entered the portal of their past to all those times their safety felt threatened and they’re imagining that you’re one of those people they’ve got to protect themselves from.
And if you join the battle, it’s likely you’ll also enter your own portal to battle with all the jerks from your own past who lacked the skills to validate all your good points.
Which will leave both of you in virtual reality instead of present time, projecting your pasts onto each other instead of understanding what happened from within—the only place where we’re able to heal from all that pain we’ve been carrying so long.
-JLK
